Wednesday, February 2, 2011
1st paragraph
'Bell Rings', "Finally, Summer vacation has started" Liat said. I was really just excited because I didn't have to listen to the kids that bullied me everyday but, I would also rather be at school then with my annoying Aunt Pam and Uncle George. I was really looking forward to a boring summer full of books, books, and more books. I loved to read, but wish I didn't. I wished I had many friends of my own, but didn't. The good news was that my birthday was tomorrow. Every year Aunt Pam and Uncle George forget about it though. Its okay though I'm used to it.
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Great: I felt that you're story idea was a casual idea that most people would do on average. Unfortunately, not many people actually would use this idea.
ReplyDeleteQuestions: I wonder how are you going to put this idea with your idea of being alone...
Polish: I guess your usage of words could be changed. Then is your first mistake (than), loved should be present (love), didn't should be don't, was should be is before birthday, Its should be It's. I guess that you should say why she's used to being used to being with her aunt and uncle.
That's all I can think of though...
-Alden
PS: Sorry about all the grammar.